Who Am I?
by Demi-goddess
Summary: [Slight AU] [After season one worlds] Bryan had enough of Tala pushing him and so writes a note of his feelings. But what if circumstances force him to say it himself? Yaoi of the BryTal type


A/N- All notes on inspiration and crap are at the end, so not to ruiin the enjoyment...

Warning: Blood, Yaoi, angst, yaoi, esplosions... oh, did i mention yaoi?

Special mention: My friend **Phoenix from the flames 1978** helped me deepen this concept. She's a non-yaoi reader/writer but she agreed to read this 0.0 i might just be a converter... dear lord above...

* * *

"Bryan, you're not giving your all. You should have been able to knock Ian out by now." Came his stern voice.

I growl and unleash my mighty Falborg to face Ian's puny Wyborg. Ian looks too cocky… I'll show him.

"Bryan…" His growl reaches my ears.

"FALBORG!"

The battle is finally ended. Ian glares at me, but I cut it with my own. I call Falborg back to my hand and sigh.

"Bryan, you're getting sloppy." His voice echoes around the metal-panelled training room. "Maybe we should hire that Neko-jin to take your place…"

I growl, but ignore him, stalking past him, his wintry aroma filling my senses for a mere second or two. I ignore Ian's loud voice- him saying the neko-jin would actually be fun to have around- and walk out the room.

Up the stairs, I finally reach my own room. I close the door, thanking whatever deity up there that I don't share with Tala…

I don't understand him. Not now. Before the Russian Worlds, we were actually happy together… he understood me and I understood him… now, afterwards, he's hard on me. Pushing me.

Yeah, he had the right to during my battle with Ian, but my mind was elsewhere…

Maybe he's embarrassed by me for losing to that White Tiger… but he did lose to that stupid Japanese new-kid…

What's going on in his head is beyond me. But if it carries on, we'll lose each other…

* * *

Tala and I may not seem as if we're close- or rather, were.

All the children in the Abbey have been trained that to be strong, you are to be alone. Any type of company- bar your team- would deem your demise; nowadays, Boris uses Kai Hiwatari as an example.

But it was when our teams were decided did we first meet each other…

_"These are your teams," Boris boomed at us, "but you are not, in any way, to depend on them. I will be assessing your abilities so I can pick the competing team. Do not let me down." I looked at my 'team'. I had Spencer, thank God. The blonde has looked out me for most of my life…not that I need it now… There was that short, big-nosed kid, Ian, or whatever his name was. And… _

_Tala…_

_I had heard of him. The white wolf. Cold as ice. Never defeated._

_Our captain._

_He, in turn, looked at me and smirked. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Wind Falcon himself, Bryan Kuznetsov…" _

_I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know I was famous."_

"_Well now you do." He smirked, ice blue eyes twinkling. His expression turned serious. "We will be the ones to compete in the worlds. If you let me down, I will not be happy. It is in your best interests to keep me happy."_

_With that, he stalked off._

_

* * *

__Furious kisses. Normally exchanged in the breaks we had during training. Normally involving me pinning Tala up against the wall._

_We were never caught. It helped, really, for the thrill of the danger of being seen doing… ahem, that, heightened our senses and lust for each other._

_Hn, lust… not love._

_We return to training afterwards, looking and acting as if nothing has happened; I guess we should be actors if we get out of this place._

_

* * *

"__I tried…" I whispered._" 

_He gazes over me, ice blue eyes not knowing what emotion to portray. "I know."_

"_Tala… leave… Boris will be here any moment…"_

_He nodded and did so. _

"_Tala…" He looks back at me. "Good luck in your battle."_

"_Luck has nothing to do with it." He replies, closing the door._

_I fell unconscious. Boris did not in fact turn up in my room. Now I know he was preoccupied with Tala…_

Sighing, I seal the envelope containing the note I had managed to write during my flash of memories. My hand seemed to have had a mind of its own, for when I came back down to Earth, a full-fledged note had been written, addressed to Tala…

Well, I say 'note' in a broad tense. More like poem…

The sound of an explosion breaks me once again from my musings. My room- which happens to be in one of the turrets- shakes enormously.

I run to my window and lift it up, looking down. Many young boys, and a few guards, are running out from the main entrance in terror, some coughing from a black smoke that also escapes from the open doorways; but all screaming the same thing:

"Fire!"

Fire? The Abbey is made of old stone, so it's not very sturdy… the explosion must have come from the labs, so that must have damaged the foundations. I have to get out-

No, I have to find Tala!

I run from my room, leaving the letter on the windowsill involuntarily.

I literally jump down the stairs, skipping many, but thankfully not falling down. My goal is set like stone in my mind: Tala's room. Situated the other side of the Abbey, but fortunately only one floor beneath the ground.

I spot the stairs up ahead, at the end of the corridor and pick my speed up.

But I am knocked to the ground by an unknown force. It falls on my back, pinning me to the ground.

The pain is excruciating! My spine feels like it's being crushed…

My head throbs because I hit it when I fell to the ground…

"Tala…" I whisper hoarsely, my vision blurring.

I black out.

**---------------Normal POV---------------**

"Where's Bryan?" Spencer asked Tala urgently.

The redhead scanned the crowd. "I can't see him." His heart clenched with worry.

"Oh God… He's probably still trapped!" Ian cried. "I need to apologise for taunting him a-and being an absolute, fucking annoying shrimpy-prick!"

Spencer knelt and hugged the small boy. "Bryan will get out. He'll be okay. He-"

His words were cut off by a crashing sound. Everyone's eyes then widened as one of the turrets slowly collapsed on top of itself, crumbling to the ground.

Tala chocked in shock. "B-Bryan… That was Bryan's block!" He raced off towards the entrance. "I have to find him!"

"Tala!" Spencer cried, but it was no use; his captain was already inside.

All Tala could see was grey smoke. He growled and launched his blade into the swirling fog.

"Wolborg! Help me find Bryan!"

The white wolf looked at the redhead, before howling.

"Tala…"

It was only a whisper. His beloved wolf had echoed it to an audible volume for Tala's ears.

"Bryan… Bryan!"

"North wing…" Wolborg's voice murmured around him.

He called his blade back to his hand and ran with all his energy, racing as fast as he could to the North wing. What was Bryan doing in the North Wi-

'My room!' the redhead literally yelled in his mind.

And then he saw it. The sight he never wanted to see.

A collapsed stone pillar, covering a lifeless body with rubble… the boy had lilac hair… unmistakable…

"B-Bry…"

He sprinted forwards and knelt by the inanimate body. His fingers immediately went to Bryan's neck, trying desperately to find a pulse.

He felt a slow and weak thumping beneath his fingers and his chest loosened ever so slightly.

"Bryan! Come on, wake up!" He began to try and dig his comrade out of the rubble.

"Go…" He almost missed it. He looked back at Bryan to se weak, yet determined, lilac eyes staring at him. "Go… I can't be saved… go, leave…!"

"No! You can make it! I know you can!"

"Stop…!" Bryan managed to gasp out, eyes scrunching in pain. "Stop… pushing me…"

"Bryan…"

The Falcon felt his head being lifted slightly and placed on something soft. It smelt of…

"Tala…" He whispered, eyes closing…

"Bryan, don't quit on me now!" Tala cried.

Around them, numerous other pillars crashed to the floor and flashes of fiery orange and red sprouted gradually from various areas. The wooden roof-beams slowly caught alight, showering them with embers.

"Bryan, I only pushed you because I needed your attention! I needed you!" Tala continued, tears springing to his eyes. "I didn't mean to-to upset you or-or anger you! That's all I want- all I need! I just need you to say it!"

"Tala…" He smirked, eyes unfocused. "I wrote everything down for you…"

Tala stroked the lilac hair comfortingly. "Tell me yourself…"

Bryan fell into a painful coughing fit, blood dripping from his lips and eyes slowly losing their normal spark.

Tala almost lost his sanity as he watched Bryan's life ebb away from him. He removed his white jumpsuit jacket and bundled it up, placing it under Bryan's head. He moved quickly closer to the rubble and once again began to dig the Falcon out. A kind of spiritual energy took over him; like the energy that takes over mothers to lift cars or fallen trees off their children.

He actually managed to free Bryan quicker than humanly possible. He carefully cradled the teen in his arms, whispering sweet nothings and kissing the top of silky hair.

"Bry, don't give up on me. That's not an order… it's not a demand… it's what I need…"

"Tala…"

The redhead gripped the Falcon's hand, ignoring the blood that was slowly pouring from a wound on the Falcon's torso and over his skin, submerging their intertwined hands in crimson liquid.

The only sound around them was the crackling of the fire and Bryan's ragged breathing. Another sound joined in. Crashing. The burning beams fell to the ground, smashing into burning rubble. They seemed to miss the two, but they were trapped in a circle of flames very quickly.

The heat and light surged, but they did not notice, too involved with spending their last moments together.

"You were going to tell me something. Something that you wrote down…" Tala said over the flames.

Bryan smiled and slid his eyes open.

There was a pause…

"**Who am I to tell you? **

**That I would never let you down… **

**That no-one else could love you, **

**Half as much as I do now… **

**And who am I to tell you**

**I'll always catch you when you fall?**

**Well I… I wouldn't be myself at all…**"

Tala swallowed the lump in his throat. "I-I didn't know you wrote poetry…"

Bryan smiled, eyes still unfocused. "Well now you do…"

Tala leant down and pressed his lips against Bryan's in a tender kiss. Nothing impure about it. Just simple and chaste.

"I need you, Bryan…"

The heavens opened, showering the two with water. The rain pattered around them, slamming against the ground thickly. The fire was put out quickly by nature's tears, merging her own with the two's tears.

"Tala!"

Tala's head swung in the direction of the voice. "K-Kai?"

The Phoenix ran over, crouching beside them, eyes wide at Bryan's appearance.

"Over here!" He roared down the hallway.

Through the smoke and thick rain, a group of adults in fire-proof suits ran over. Upon reaching the three teens, they eased a now unconscious Bryan onto a portable stretcher and carried him out, leaving Kai to help the redhead stand and walk out.

"Wait…" Kai looked at Tala. "There's something I need to get."

He began to walk towards the south wing turret.

"Tala, it's unsafe!" Kai called over the rain, grabbing the Wolf's forearm.

"This is important, Kai!" Tala cried back. "If I don't find it, and if Bryan dies, I may never know how much… how much he loves me!"

Tala pulled out of Kai's grip and raced down the slippery corridors to the debris of the collapsed tower, Kai not far behind. The redhead bent down and tugged on a white bit of paper, pulling out an unscathed envelope. Upon the white envelope, neat black calligraphy spelt his name, but the ink began to run with the rain. He tucked the rectangular paper-casing in his pocket and let Kai lead him away from the collapsed Abbey…

* * *

"I thought I told you not to give up…" Tala whispered at the pale teen.

"I didn't…"

He smiled. "Your heart stopped beating two times, Bryan. I call that giving up."

The Falcon sighed, lying back against the soft hospital pillows.

"I found it…"

Bryan opened his eyes. "Read it?" He asked, staring at the white ceiling .

"No…" The redhead pulled the envelope out of his pocket and slowly opened it, unfolding the creased letter-

"**Sometimes you know, you push me so hard I don't know how I feel, **

**You almost make me doubt I feel at all **

**It's not as though I always listen but there's just so much I don't hear **

**Maybe I'll never be what you want… **

**I know that all you're asking for is a little place in my heart **

**But I don't find it easy to give **

**Maybe I get a little selfish sometimes. Why shouldn't I? **

**I used to say I love you but - would it make a difference this time? **

**But who am I to tell you? **

**That I would never let you down… **

**That no-one else could love you, **

**Half as much as I do now… **

**And who am I to tell you **

**I'll always catch you when you fall?**

**Well I… I wouldn't be myself at all **

**I wouldn't be myself at all… **

**I always find a reason why I didn't put you first **

**Its not that complicated I know **

**I really hate it when you shake your head like this aint gonna work **

**Maybe you'll never reap what you sow…**

**Didn't want to do what everybody does **

**And hide the truth to find we never knew **

**A thing about love 'cause this is **

**Real life, Real Love – and knowing what it comes down to… **

**It just might be love **

**Who am I to tell you? **

**That I would never let you down? **

**That no-one else could love you, **

**Half as much as I do now… **

**And who am I to tell you, **

**I'll always catch you when you fall?**

**Well I **

**I wouldn't be myself at all… **

**At all…**"

Silence shrouded the room after Tala stopped reading the composition out loud.

"I didn't know you felt that way…" He whispered. He looked at the other teen, blue eyes watery with unshed tears. "Bryan, I'll care about and love you no matter what you say."

"So if I told you to get stuffed and to screw off, would you still love me?" Bryan asked cheekily.

Tala rolled his eyes, wiping away a tear that had rolled down his cheek. "Bastard…"

He leaned over his comrade and kissed him deeply.

Pulling away, he smiled down at the hazy Falcon. "Next time, don't rely on your luck to tell me stuff."

Bryan smirked. "Luck has nothing to do with it. You said it yourself. But if I didn't rely on my 'luck' I wouldn't be myself, would I?"

"No you wouldn't." Tala agreed softly. "And it's the unspoken Bryan Kuznetsov that I fell in love with. So don't you even dare think of changing."

"Deal."

* * *

A/N- Ah, crappy ending. I apologise…

I got inspired, as you can tell, when I was listening to Will Young's album 'Keep On' and his new song 'Who Am I?' came on… I just imagined Bryan saying stuff like this and there you go…it didn't turn out how I imagined it, but oh well…

I accept flames but I won't give a shit if you think Will Young's 'stupid'. I love him, cos he's Britain's little songwriter /Huggles Will/ It's a shame he's gay; he's kinda cute…

'Who Am I?' © Will Young

Fiction and writing © Demi-goddess (MEH!)

Please review… I managed to write this while having writers block... blegh


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